Saturday, May 28, 2011

Where is Babs?

Bab's still hasn't shown up. She said she'd be here on Tuesday (or May 24th) but we've still yet to see any sign of her. Or here from her. I've tried calling, Kal tried calling, but all calls just rang and rang and rang... No voicemail, no ending. I left my phone on speaker for half an hour the last time I called just listening to that ring, haunting and repetitive. Kal's conversation with Damien about it didn't last long. I think Damien hung up on him.

Damien, if she doesn't show up.. I'm sorry, man. At the very least, we're perfectly set to wait here longer for her to show up. The rest is a godsend, but I think the best part of it all here is the showers. That out of everything has helped the most to lift the fugue off of our group here. Some of it at any rate.

I still can't help but feel that everything is falling apart. There's a deep, hollow ache inside me, patiently waiting to devour everything I know.

It's Ronnie. Or rather, her absence. I haven't had time to really get through all that happened on the day she was taken from me. But now, with all this time, with nowhere to go, with no abomination in sight, she is always in my thoughts. And with Babs being gone now too...

Our Stalker is a cruel thing. Loveless and cruel.



Monday, May 23, 2011

Breathing Room

We made it to Georgia. You may have seen in Arkady's most recent post (as of now at any rate) that Setoth's Babs was headed there. After all the things that have been going on in Roanoke, especially our Stalker becoming a growing presence, Kal and I were able to persuade the others into coming with us. Even Charlie begrudgingly agreed to leave without too much coercion - and given the expression on his face as we packed up our things to set off, it seemed he was going to miss Virginia.

We're at a lake house that belongs to Babs's family, waiting for her to show up. When we talked on the phone yesterday, she said she'd be here sometime tomorrow and clued us in about where to find the spare key. It's nice here, if secluded. Thankfully whoever tends to the place keeps it well stocked. I guess people must drop by here out of the blue often enough for the family to pay for that kind of maintenance, but either way I'm certainly not going to question what little cause for celebration we may have thrown our way now and again.

Right now everyone is kind of just relaxing - though with what's hunting us everyone is still a little on edge. Even Charlie and Alexis seemed to share a moment of real intimacy for what must be the first time in months. I think we're all just glad to be out of our damned cars. We finally have room to stretch and lay down and just close our eyes. For now anyway. JD is looking better, which has let Thomas relax and open up more; he and Kal seem to be getting on well.

But not everything is good news. I mentioned in an earlier post that I saw Sara move on her own. I don't feel so great about it now as I did then. With the frequent encounters of the Slender kind, I began to notice a trend. I don't know how long this has been going on or when it started (or if it was always there and I just didn't notice), but I think Sara reacts physically to the Thief's presence. As if his energy or what-have-you holds some kind of sway over and, despite being completely blanked mentally, she still has some instinct regarding him. It makes me nervous, but perhaps it can be used to some kind of advantage... Possibly as a way to forewarn ourselves. I don't want to rely too much on this theory though. I fear that just like everything else I've come to rely on over the course of being hunted, it too will disappear and break beneath me. I don't think I can take many more falls.

I do have one last piece of nervous news. Like I said, we're secluded out here. And if what little research I've begun to do and what the rest of our little group of survivor's has said is true, all these fucking trees are bad news.



Tuesday, May 10, 2011

I had a dream. I was beneath the waves, rolling gently, dark and blue. Above me, a storm was brewing, the clouds growing black and angry, aggressively striving against the last rays of a setting sun. The wind was picking up and howling, foreshadowing the terror the waves would become. But deep below, in my santcuary, in this water, I was serene. I was calm. I was smiling. Nothing could touch me.

When I woke up, it was there. Not close, but there. Watching. Waiting to steal again. But it didn't matter. The weight of the dream still sat on my shoulders and nothing mattered. A flutter of movement jerked my gaze away from the Thief, and I saw Sara's arm settling back into place. I went to look back at our stalker but then... Holy shit, Sara moved. She moved on her own. She's always needed someone to guide her: into walking, eating, drinking, changing... everything. I've never seen her twitch. I looked into her eyes, hoping to see something there. But her face was still blank, empty of everything, her eyes dull and lifeless. I turned back to where I'd seen the Thief but nothing was there any longer.

JD is lucky. Charlie was able to get in touch with a friend of his - a doctor or a nurse or something - who was able to patch JD up well enough to keep him alive without us actually getting to a hospital. Beyond that though, Charlie has been showing even less warmth toward the group than usual. Ever since the attack, our follower has been with us, sometimes far off, sometimes close enough to throw a rock at. We've been on the move constantly. We're driving as I write this, Alexis and her crew leading the way simply because they've been in the area longer, but none of us really know where we're going. Kal is lost in his head, Thomas is worrying over JD who is growing angrier by the day and I've already talked about Charlie.

But Sara moved. I don't why, but maybe it's a sign that we're doing something right.


God damn it Henry how did you get me typing this up? I don’t want to fucking talk about this, it’s the very reason I haven’t been. I don’t care if you think I need to get it off my chest, I don’t care if you think the world wants to hear it. News flash Henry, nobody gives a damn about us. Nobody in the world cares about what happens to you and me and all the others except us. I can guarantee that nobody out there wants to hear me mope and whine about ending a man’s life. I sure as hell don’t want to anymore.

They don’t want to hear me lament the loss of my innocence or cry about how I went from pacifist to killer in a matter of seconds. They don’t want to hear me go into gory detail about the way I felt the crack of his skull reverberate up that stick of wood or describe the way the tiny bit of life he still possessed drained from his eyes as looked up at me. Nobody out there wants to hear my fucking sob story. Nobody except you. I know you’re trying to help but just let it go, I didn’t pester you to deal with your loss over the internet’s open forum. Please just let go. I’m so fucking tired of all of this.

I’ll be fine. I don’t regret it; I did what was necessary to keep JD alive. I just wish that fucker hadn’t died, that he possessed the same ungodly endurance that our dear Arkady goes on and on and on about. But you know? Despite everything, the sick feeling I wake up to every morning and this warm sting of panic that keeps invading my chest, despite it all I don’t regret it. If it was needed I’d kill him all over.

I’ll do whatever I fucking have to do to keep everyone I care about alive. Even if that means suffering this again and again and again.