New Challengers

Old Time Quest

Far away from cold adventures,

The old-man guide forgets his dentures

And ventures into the forest alone,

Leaving the heroes guarding his home.

As he wanders through the snowy leaves,

The old man slowly sinks and grieves

And thinks about what he has lost,

What he has done and at what cost.

Mem’ries of old family,

Long gone in manifest

But still existing in his chest,

Haunt his spirit as he walks

And thoughts of past talks

With young tots about sparks and hawks

Flit through his mind.

He sees the ending coming

As his trail-end comes to sight.

So, in deep night, without fright,

The old man sits upon a bench,

Lays himself so his back won’t wrench,

And stares up at the sky,

Becoming glassy-eyed,

While the heroes back home

Expect the return of a man in bliss

Who ended with a kiss.

I've always been interested in people. How they act and why they act. That's part of what influenced my decision to go into journalism: so I can record the actions of others and see what they do in different circumstances and states of mind. I've learned that the human mind can be infectious though, and I have a tangible example living in my apartment. I worry about Kal. He's getting worse and now he's dragged his friend Damien into his Slender Man mess, which is fairly impressive given it's been a while since they actually saw each other in person. Then of course there's this "Arkady" fellow who seems to have teamed up with Damien. From what little I've managed to gather so far, Arkady is simply a crazed drug addict using the Slender Man myth to hide the fact that he has a problem and bribe a room out of Damien with his supposedly superior knowledge. I honestly don't know where people like this come from, but I send thanks to every god I seem to have some sort of immunity to insanity after my own plunge into darkness a while ago. Maybe it's like chicken pox. This could come off as mean, but I don't know what else to do to snap Kal out of it. I've tried everything nice that I can think of. I mean, sure, he's my good friend, I'm still going to support him but I won't enable his self-imposed lunacy.

Now I do understand that Kal is torn up about this little girl that's disappeared, but what could he have really done? If the stories I've been following and searching up these last couple months (see: this and this) are any indication, this kidnapping at Kal's school is probably related and all signs point to whoever it is being very good at this. I don't know what else to say to him, but hopefully he can bring himself out of this hole he's dug for himself soon.

-Michenab

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Insomnia Vol. II

I've been told before that I get too wrapped up in books. Maybe it's true, or maybe the books I read are so true that they become infectious. Either way, I can't sleep again. I had been doing pretty well for a while, on a regular sleep schedule. But I finally was able to get back to reading House of Leaves. It's haunting - far more than that even. It digs into the soul and itches and irritates and undermines the psyche. And the stress of the episode with the cops and school and now renewed insomnia... I think I'm hearing and seeing things. Remember my story about the wobbling walls? Well try this out: small spots of black or grey resting in the far edge of my vision until I choose to look at them; the sound of footsteps on concrete when I am alone in a carpeted building; warped vision and hearing. I haven't lost any time - I'm not so sleep deprived as to pass out - yet. These things aren't constant. I don't know whether to be thankful for that or not. I think, sometimes, that if it were a constant barrage of insanity I might be able to deal with it, but the timing of these events are just irregular enough to keep me on constant edge, fraying my nerves over and over and over. I've decided I'm going to resume meditations and cleansings - practices I dropped long ago as no longer necessary - in the manner of Konstantinos (though my own take on them). They helped once before when I felt haunted by some shadow of my own or another's invention, haunted then not by endless hallways blanketed in eternal darkness, but by irrational paranoia. I fucking hope this works again. I need sleep, and not the sleep I manage to steal now and again currently, filled with dreams of dark basements and room after room after room, gray and silent with no escape, but calm and restful sleep. I think maybe I am portraying myself as something of a basket case here, but I assure you anyone in my present state would be given to some amount of rambling. I mean it about the meditations and cleansings though. If they don't work, I don't know what else to do after. And just so we're clear, this isn't some DIY mental health edition mumbo jumbo (although I imagine more than a few of you will call it mumbo jumbo regardless). I guess for a lack of better words, I'd name it dabbling in the occult. Don't worry now, I'm not sacrificing children or animals or anything else. It's far more than that. It's opening the mind in connection with the spirit - something which can have incredible results depending on what you're wanting to do. However, relying on spirituality has been a last resort it seems, in my life, and I've been content with that and satisfied with that. But I've noticed that problems tend to crop up more and more and in greater magnitudes when I drop the shield of faith. And don't misconstrue that word, faith, now. I mean only a belief in my ability to change and affect the world around me through applied thought and feeling. Perhaps it could be compared to art without form, but still holding all the impact of emotion and intent.

For those who are unaware of Konstatinos, look here: http://konstantinos.com/aboutkonstantinos.htm
Even if you don't agree with it all, I feel that, like any philosopher, he raises ideas and questions that anyone can benefit from considering.

Meanwhile back at the point (is there a point?)... Kal seems to have taken the news (or rather recent lack of it) about the girl rather hard. I think perhaps we are influencing each other in our own neuroses, encouraging an arms race in insanity. Fucking hell I'm tired. I'm going to lie down now. I hope I can keep my eyes closed long enough to miss the sunrise.

-Michenab

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