Migration

But not in the physical sense. Not yet, anyhow. I suppose I should start with something of a summary of events. Last you all knew we were in Shreveport - now we're in Austin, Texas. We met up with Damien and Arkady (who was somewhat less than pleased at the presence of two children, something about them slowing him down) and we all decided that we may as well merge into one big happy family. It's been an interesting time, the last however many days - Arkady presents himself to be every ounce as pretentious in person as he is in his writing (for instance, he refuses to be called anything other than his pseudonym), but at least he has the intelligence to back it up. Damien is much more pleasant to be around, though I suppose it helps that he and Kal were already good friends.

Anyhow. In an effort to simplify things, we've all decided to merge our blogs. The new one is called Operation Wintergreen. It sounds almost cool at first until you realize it doesn't quite. You can thank Kal for that.

This will be the last you hear from us on this site.

This is Operation Wintergreen.

-Michenab

Previous/Next

Assault

It never stops. If I didn't think we were cursed already, I'd start thinking it now. I don't know how it all happened, I don't know how we were found, but we were and... I'd better start from the beginning on this one. The seven of us, Alexis and her group and then us, were just sitting in a parking structure, a different one than Kal talked about (we have to move about now and then to keep the police from ticketing or arresting us). I was finally starting to relax. I haven't seen that thing, the Thief, Slender Man, whatever you want call it, since we met up with Alexis. We've all been paranoid about it, that's another reason we're on the move so often, but none of us had seen him. Hell, even Charlie began to calm down; not that you'd notice if you'd never met him at all.

All good things come to an end though. Charlie and Alexis were talking in whispers - I think Kal called it pretty well on their relationship - Kal was talking with Thomas, JD was staring off into the streets below us and I was watching everyone with Sara next to me. Then we heard the footsteps. Running. More than one person. I didn't think too much of it except maybe some people in a hurry until I sawAlexis glance at Thomas and spring into action, inspiring Thomas to do so as well, Thomas getting JD into the van and Alexis starting the engine. I must have looked confused as Hell because Charlie, who was shaking his head at the whole affair while walking slowly to the car, spoke up:

"They're coming. I'd get in your car if I were you." The sneer on his face seemed to live in his very voice; his words dripped with contempt.

I looked at Kal who only shrugged, but headed for our car, so I got Sara in as well. With the engine started, we waited for Alexis to back out so we could follow her. Right as her reverse lights came on, I saw JD run from around the van, an angry look on his face, as if his entire body was full of hate for whatever was coming toward us. He carried a crude makeshift spear in his hands and seemed to be trembling - with anger, yes, but I think there was some hint of fear, lonliness, desperation in his young eyes... Thomas appeared behind the boy and picked him up bodily, wrapping him up in his arms as one might a younger child, protectively, and carried him back to the van. When Alexis finally was able to get moving, we heard the screech of tires. In the parking garage, it was impossible to tell what direction it was coming from through all the echoes. Soon enough though, the car appeared coming from the bottom floor - from the exit - moving quickly and blocking the road.. I saw the van swerve in front of us and heard the squeal of its brakes, soon joined by the screech of our tires as Kal slammed his foot down hard. The van slammed into the other car regardless though and landed on its side, falling back toward Kal and I. For a moment, everything was silent except for the purr of engines and the light creak of metal. Then the footsteps came back and a small group of people began to swarm the van. There must have only been five of them at most, but it seemed a whole crowd with as sudden and quick as they moved. While I was watching, I heard Kal taking off his seatbelt and opening his door. I only registered what he was doing when I saw him running out in front of the car with a wooden stick in hand.

After a moment I decided to follow him, grabbing my knife from the glove compartment, before remembering Sara. I let Kal go to the van on his own while I stayed near the car - I couldn't leave her alone, no matter how the struggle sounded. I'd never been in a fight before and this thought flashed through my mind over and over as I looked nervously around the car until, suddenly, a fist caught me in the stomach and I went down, rolling a little away - we were on an incline. From the floor I watched Kal swing his stick at someone and I heard the flat sounds of fists and wood slamming into bodies, of shouts and grunts of pain and effort. I heard noise near me and saw one of the attackers, probably the one that punched me, clawing at the back door of my car. Sara.

I got to my feet quickly and charged. As I got close he turned toward me. He looked completely normal: brown hair, pale skin, jeans and a t-shirt except.. his eyes. They were sunken, haunted, as if he hadn't slept in far, far too long. And he was expressionless. Devoid of life. Just like Ronnie, the last time I saw her... An animal growl shocked me from my memories and he came toward me, recklessly. Not knowing quite what to do, I stabbed at him. I must have only nicked him as he howled but didn't seem incapacitated at all. He swung a punch and I caught it on my arm, near the shoulder - the arm went numb. Swearing and frightened, I threw myself into him. We went down together in a tangle of struggling limbs. I stabbed at him again and this time I felt the blade stick. I pushed it in to the hilt - six inches. In return, I caught an elbow to the face and he rolled away from me, taking the knife. I saw it, attached to his side like some failed extra limb - it must have been in an organ, a kidney or maybe the stomach. He didn't seem to mind and, leaking crimson, he came back at me. I scrambled to get to my feet, but he closed the gap between us too quickly and threw himself onto me, pinning me to the concrete. If we hadn't been on a slope like we were, he may have had me, but I was able to use the angle and gravity against him to push him off me, sending him rolling down to the van.

I got up and ran to the car - Sara was okay. God how horrible is it to think that her vegetable state is even close to okay.. I looked back down to where everyone else was. The sounds of fighting were dying down and I could hear someone wailing. It was painful to listen to. I caught sight of my attacker get to his feet - how he had the strength to rise I don't know. I shouted in warning and saw Thomas come from behind the overturned van with what looked like a butcher knife. Taking the man by surprise, Thomas punched him his cheek and then chopped into his neck until he fell to the floor, twitching. He then looked up at me, nodded grimly and disappeared back behind the van. I hurried to find Kal and saw maybe three people run off into the darkness. The car that had wrecked the van was gone too. I'm not sure when they left. Then I heard a shout, a quick scuffle followed by grunts and the clattering of wood on concrete. Finally Thomas, clearly: crying.

When I turned to look at him, he was bent over JD's shaking body. In one of the kid's hands was a crude spear, the tip covered in blood. About 10 feet away was a body, pooling blood, with Charlie rummaging through its clothing, muttering to himself. Alexis went to Thomas and pulled him to his feet, trying to calm him down while getting to him to move JD into the van. While they did, I saw a dark splotch on the front of JD's shirt. He wasn't dead, but... Kal's shirt was spattered with red, but he seemed fine, if winded. But the way he stared at the dead man, the one who'd attacked JD, it was like nothing else existed for him in that moment. Yet more blood dripped from one end of his stick. The bruises I'd gotten began to make themselves known as I heard Thomas's sobs begin to settle into a quiet rhythm of mourning over his bleeding brother, backed up by Alexis's gentle words.

That was earlier tonight. Somehow we got the van back onto its tires and the bodies inside it. All of us are bruised. All of us are exhausted. JD seems to have stabilized, for now. Charlie, angry as he is about breaking M's rules, at least let Alexis talk him into helping. The bleeding has stopped, but now Thomas and Charlie are having it out over whether or not to go to a hospital. I can sense things falling apart here.

-Michenab

Previous/Next

The She-Devil.

I went back to Ronnie's, after... after whatever it was that happened at Burger King. She was still trying to get some kind of reaction out the girl. I guess her name is Sara. I tried to relax. I saw Kal's message to me - and ignored it. I tried to put that whole encounter out of my mind, tried to ignore the fact that Ronnie was fussing over an empty shell of a girl in the next room - but then a little flash of movement outside of a window of Ronnie's house (her parents do quite well) caught my eye. Closer inspection revealed a view of the street, lit in the eerie way only streetlamps can accomplish. And directly beneath one was him. It was copied terribly out of every bad horror flick, but it was pulled off artfully. Nothing should be that terrifying, nothing should be that... that other. 


I began collecting all my things, everything I'd brought, into my bag, then went for the girl. Ronnie tried to stop me, asked me where I was going, but I didn't answer. I couldn't. Sara and I had to leave. We had to get away from Ronnie. Ronnie wasn't safe with us around. Even so, I heard her grabbing her car keys, and I felt, in some small way, reassured by that. I was heading back to the apartment. Where I am now. On the quickest way from Ronnie's place to mine is a street that is almost completely dark for a decent stretch of road. Only the moon and stars gave light to it. I thought nothing of it. Until, moving at the upper edge of the speed limit, I was forced to slam on the breaks because there he was again. Standing there, immovable. I heard Ronnie's breaks squealing as I began to curse and flash my highbeams on and off, not daring to move. Then I accidentally turned my lights off. The dead silence of the encounter at Burger King began to creep in on me. Ronnie honked her horn, snapping me out of the same paralysis I had felt earlier and I slammed the gas petal, no doubt leaving a trail of rubber on the road, before even considering to flip the lights back on.

The rest of the drive was uneventful, but the paranoia - the thought that I might run into that thing again - soaked through me. When we finally got to the complex, I heard Ronnie begin to protest about coming where Kal might be, but I didn't respond then either. I had to keep moving. I'm sorry for ignoring her but... I just had to keep moving. Holding the girl in my arms, bag slung over my shoulder, I began running once I got inside. Behind me I heard the slap-slap slap-slap of Ronnie trying to keep up in her flip-flops. I only had to make it to the third floor. I tried the elevator first - but as it opened, I caught a flash of red - horrible red - in what seemed the shape of a tie and bolted for the stairs. Only two flights. I only had to make it up two flights, to the  third floor.

Somehow I did it. Somehow, Ronnie and I and the girl... we all made up there and to the apartment. Somehow we
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Sorry folks, Henry had to go off and deal with his girlfriend’s temper tantrum, I decided to post this up in case she kills him in there, she is not a happy girl. 

She doesn’t like me much… not that I can really blame her; last time we met I tried to shove her back into the hallway. Funny thing there, that was my exact same response when I saw Henry lead her in this time. But between the look of terror on his face and her damned persistence I eventually had to cave. She doesn’t trust me, she hasn’t seen it yet and that’s why she needs to leave.

Henry wants what’s best for her, I can tell, but he’s also in a somewhat fragile state now. His world is falling apart and he thinks he needs her as some sort of comfort. I’ve tried convincing him to send her home, or… encouraging her that she’d be happier anywhere but here. It’s not going well. Like I said she’s fucking persistent; and now she, Henry, along with little Sara (it is her, though Veronica hasn’t allowed me to give her a decent look over) are holed up in Henry’s room yelling at each other.

She doesn’t understand why they’re here, because you know I’m a childnapper/probable rapist and whatnot. The more she yells about it the less I want to kick her out. Maybe I should just let her stay and suffer whatever fate awaits us. No, that’s a cruel thought and not fair at all. Especially given what she “knows” it’s a perfectly valid assumption. Still the accusation hurts.

Henry on the other hand is refusing to explain, he just keeps telling her to trust him, to ignore me, and that despite appearances this is all for the best. He doesn’t want to anger her further, doesn’t want to kick her out. Her wanting to be here probably seems like some big gesture to him.

He’s wrong.

She needs to go. It’s for her best interest.

~Kal

Previous/Next

We're All Crazy On the Inside

It took a while, but I finally was able to get a call through to Kal. I'm not sure why, but recently I seem to have been having trouble getting calls from people lately. Anyhow, we agreed on a place to meet. I left the girl with Ronnie and had my dagger hanging off my belt, hidden by my jacket. As I drove to the rendevouz (a Burger King not too far from campus), I noticed the streets become foggy – though it wasn’t enough to hinder my vision to register much beyond simply being a little odd. When I finally got to the meeting place, there was no one there but me. At first I thought Kal had simply decided not show. Had decided that there was no way he could spin his situation in a way that would convince he to help him. But then I saw him in the distance. It was hard to make out with the fog and the setting sun, but there he was, coming my way. I felt a wash of relief until I noticed him stop. Then I realized how tall he looked. How quiet it was there. How impossibly dead everything was. I don’t remember grabbing it, but I know my knife made its way to my hand – I didn’t even try to hide the blade.

I shouted at him. Why was he playing this game? The two of us needed to talk – and then suddenly he was, instead of a hundred feet away, fifty. I got no response other than that. I took a step back only to be matched by him taking a step forward. Then I saw the tie. Bright and red, obnoxious and enthralling. Kal doesn’t wear ties. He doesn't even own a tie. There was no way this fairy tale could be true. It had to be Kal, a friend of his, something, fucking with me. I shouted again. The light fog cleared around it and I got a clear look at that... thing. It had no face, but I could feel a terrible wave of heaviness coming from its stare; something like anger. It began moving closer – but it wasn’t walking. I felt as though I were watching a low budget clay-mation: it moved in short jumps forward,its absent eyes tearing through me.

I took another step back and fell, the rush of fear that followed punctuated by a hard landing. After that, everything seemed to speed up. And the thing was moving normally now – or as normally as it can do anything being what it is. Consumed with horror as I was, every nerve stretched to breaking and every muscle screaming to move, I couldn’t take my eyes from it as it came ever closer. Being at a loss of anything else to do, I slipped into meditation. Deep breathing first – and I could close my eyes. With that thing out of sight, I could direct my thoughts toward working as good a simple cleansing as I could. At this point, I was glad I had the dagger in my hand as a focus for will. I aimed only to enclose the area immediately around me, but it was sufficient. After moments that lasted agonizing eons, I felt my body come back under my control. I sprang to my feet, turned and ran back to my car, refusing to look back. As I turned the ignition, the fog began to melt away in my peripheral. I risked a glance back at where I had been frozen and saw a wisp of that haunting red color roll away as if on a wind. The sound of the world came back to me then. Kal still wasn’t there. We need to meet now more than ever. I know that really happened but... Fucking hell Kal, what did just happen?

-Michenab

Previous/Next

Just What the Hell?

What the hell happened to coming home from a night out with friends to find a mess of groceries or your roommate hiding from myths? Today I found Kal passed out on the floor in the dark with the girl he’s been wracked with guilt over sitting next to him. What the fuck? Why the hell would Kal take her? Where has he been keeping her? I didn’t wake him to ask. I just grabbed my laptop from my room and went for the girl to get her out of there. And then Kal woke up.

I froze a moment before trying to get the girl out the front door. Kal came to his senses faster as he saw me and the girl. He immediately dashed toward the door, blocking me from there. I heard him growl and went back to my room, towing the girl along – there’s a fire escape outside of my window. I think Kal had forgotten about that because he didn’t move for just long enough for me to get the girl into the room. As soon as I shut the door though, I heard the pounding of his feet as he ran. I turned the lock, hands shaking and sweating so much that I could barely do it. As Kal began to rattle the doorknob, I shoved my laptop into a backpack along with my dagger and chargers for my computer and phone. After zipping it up, I hurried to the window and fumbled with the locks as Kal turned to ramming the door with what sounded like his body. The girl just stood there the whole time, looking at her feet.

I finally got the window open and called to the girl to come to me. No response. I went to her and raised her eyes to mine; they looked straight ahead, dilated and seeing nothing. Taking her hand, I led the girl through the window. I shut it as best I could from the outside, and then began the tricky task of getting a nonresponsive child down a fire escape. Somehow it worked, and I got her to my car – then sped all the way to Ronnie’s. On the way, I noticed an odd mark on her hand: an X superimposed on top of an O. I've seen it before I think, but I have no idea what it is. I’ve convinced Ronnie not to call the cops. For now. I want to talk to Kal myself first. He can’t have done this. But then what else could it be?

-Michenab

Previous/Next

I can't believe this. Kal really had been seeming better. I mean, yeah, he still thought this Slender thing was coming after him and the weird shit with the groceris, but that was manageable. He wasn't completely flipping his shit about it anymore at least. And it seemed he had moved past some of his guilt about the girl too. I really thought he was making progress. But. I came home tonight after a date with Ronnie. We'd been having a good time, I hadn't seen Kal all day so I assumed he wouldn't be home, so I brought her back. Ronnie and I were, well, let's say we were in a good mood - ready to get things done, if you understand me. I open the door, and there's Kal in the main room. It wouldn't have been odd (just inconvenient) except that he had on some weird music really loud and he was kind of just swaying in front of a window, looking out at something. I went to see what it could be, but when he noticed Ronnie and I were there, he freaked out and started screaming at us to get out, and trying to force us out of the apartment. Eventually, I just turned and walked Ronnie out of the place. This isn't the first time Ronnie has met Kal and she knows that he's been going through a hard time, but I think this experience scared her more than a little. She offered very quickly to take me back to her place. I accepted, even though I knew the mood was killed. I'm writing from her place now - she's already gone to sleep. I'll be back home tomorrow morning.

-Michenab

Kal: we need to talk again. This has gone too far.

Previous/Next

I don't have very many moments that seriously force me into a double-take, but this afternoon was certainly one of them. I stayed the night at Ronnie's - my phone had died while I was at her place but I saw Kal's post on her computer - and got home not too long ago. You know what I walked into? Grocery's thrown all across the apartment, outside on the balcony, on the ground below it, chairs knocked over, things unplugged and out of place... And worst of all, a big puddle of curdling milk sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor. Kal wasn't home, but I guess he went shopping sometime yesterday before all this happened. Whatever went down must have been pretty soon after he got back from the store because there are bags and shit strewn about with everything else. At first I thought it might've have been a robbery or something, especially since Kal isn't here and so I was worried. Until I realized nothing had been taken, just that all this damned food had been thrown everywhere! I'm still worried though. I haven't been able to get hold of Kal. Hopefully I can pretty soon.

Fuck. I had just come over here to get my phone charger, then I was going to head back to Ronnie's but I guess the next few hours will be spent cleaining this mess. Good gods that milk smells nasty. Kal better be in someone's trunk or something for all this.

-Michenab

Previous/Next

Despite Kal's ever-present struggle with the kidnapping, my life is going pretty well. We haven't "officially" been together for very long, but Ronnie and I have been close for a while and we're only growing closer. Sure, it may still be the honey moon phase or whatever, but does anyone ever think about that while actually in the relationship? Anyone who actually hopes for good outcomes to relationships anyway. Yesterday we went and saw that new Johnny Depp movie. It was alright, but apparently the whole movie was actually acted out live-action to get the character models to move how they do. I don't know about anyone else, but I think it would be way more interesting to see the human actors moving dramatically like that. Besides, talking animals are just creepy when you think about it too much. Imagine someone living on a farm, surrounded by animals, and one morning they wake up to one of their cows sitting at the breakfast table eating a bowl of cereal with soy milk and reading the paper. Weird stuff.

Anyhow. Tonight Ronnie and I are going out to dinner. I haven't decided where yet, but definitely somewhere warm and where they have one of those airlock type foyers so that everytime the door opens the freezing air isn't let directly into the restaurant. Usually those places are a little more money than others, but I'd rather be a poor man with a cushiony chair and a back to lean on than rich with a cold, hard steel stool with sharp edges.

-Michenab

Also, Kal, don't be too hard on yourself... I'm sorry about some of the things I've been saying. I do think you need help to work past the loss of that girl, but I don't think you've just completely lost your mind. Arkady on the other hand... Anyhow. I'll let up on the "crazy" rhetoric. Maybe we can try to hang out again.

Previous/Next

New Challengers

Old Time Quest

Far away from cold adventures,

The old-man guide forgets his dentures

And ventures into the forest alone,

Leaving the heroes guarding his home.

As he wanders through the snowy leaves,

The old man slowly sinks and grieves

And thinks about what he has lost,

What he has done and at what cost.

Mem’ries of old family,

Long gone in manifest

But still existing in his chest,

Haunt his spirit as he walks

And thoughts of past talks

With young tots about sparks and hawks

Flit through his mind.

He sees the ending coming

As his trail-end comes to sight.

So, in deep night, without fright,

The old man sits upon a bench,

Lays himself so his back won’t wrench,

And stares up at the sky,

Becoming glassy-eyed,

While the heroes back home

Expect the return of a man in bliss

Who ended with a kiss.

I've always been interested in people. How they act and why they act. That's part of what influenced my decision to go into journalism: so I can record the actions of others and see what they do in different circumstances and states of mind. I've learned that the human mind can be infectious though, and I have a tangible example living in my apartment. I worry about Kal. He's getting worse and now he's dragged his friend Damien into his Slender Man mess, which is fairly impressive given it's been a while since they actually saw each other in person. Then of course there's this "Arkady" fellow who seems to have teamed up with Damien. From what little I've managed to gather so far, Arkady is simply a crazed drug addict using the Slender Man myth to hide the fact that he has a problem and bribe a room out of Damien with his supposedly superior knowledge. I honestly don't know where people like this come from, but I send thanks to every god I seem to have some sort of immunity to insanity after my own plunge into darkness a while ago. Maybe it's like chicken pox. This could come off as mean, but I don't know what else to do to snap Kal out of it. I've tried everything nice that I can think of. I mean, sure, he's my good friend, I'm still going to support him but I won't enable his self-imposed lunacy.

Now I do understand that Kal is torn up about this little girl that's disappeared, but what could he have really done? If the stories I've been following and searching up these last couple months (see: this and this) are any indication, this kidnapping at Kal's school is probably related and all signs point to whoever it is being very good at this. I don't know what else to say to him, but hopefully he can bring himself out of this hole he's dug for himself soon.

-Michenab

Previous/Next

Romance

And so concludes one of the best weekends I’ve had in a long while. I suppose I should probably introduce some backstory first. There’s a girl, Veronica (but I call her Ronnie), that I’ve known for a while via classes and we've gotten to be pretty good friends. She invited me Thursday night to a party she was going to (she managed to keep her Fridays free of classes and I knew I wasn’t going to be sleeping anyhow, so why not). It looked like she was there to actually have fun. I was simply trying to escape the insanity pit that the apartment had become (more on that in a bit). She was the only one I knew very well, so I spent most of the night with her. And now we’ve been on a date every single day since, and have more planned. And the most amazing thing about all of this: on Saturday, after I got Ronnie home, I actually felt like sleeping. I feel this bears repeating: I was genuinely tired and felt like I could sleep! And it gets better because I actually could sleep. I got a whole nine hours. That hasn't happened in a while, despite my best efforts. I don’t know if it’s because of the new relationship or not but either way, I am not complaining because with sleep has come an end to the obsession with the darkness that surrounded Navidson and Johnny Truant and a window opening to happiness. The endless halls of Infinity that I have been trapped in are dissipating. I feel free.

If only I could say the same for Kal. Last week was… Well, I’m sure you can all see part of it in his posts. There were days though that he didn’t even leave his room. And I’m not sure how to help him (majoring in journalism, not psychology, after all). Maybe if I get him into the sunlight a bit more. But I think we’ll definitely be avoiding trees, for his sake.

-Michenab

Previous/Next

Insomnia Vol. II

I've been told before that I get too wrapped up in books. Maybe it's true, or maybe the books I read are so true that they become infectious. Either way, I can't sleep again. I had been doing pretty well for a while, on a regular sleep schedule. But I finally was able to get back to reading House of Leaves. It's haunting - far more than that even. It digs into the soul and itches and irritates and undermines the psyche. And the stress of the episode with the cops and school and now renewed insomnia... I think I'm hearing and seeing things. Remember my story about the wobbling walls? Well try this out: small spots of black or grey resting in the far edge of my vision until I choose to look at them; the sound of footsteps on concrete when I am alone in a carpeted building; warped vision and hearing. I haven't lost any time - I'm not so sleep deprived as to pass out - yet. These things aren't constant. I don't know whether to be thankful for that or not. I think, sometimes, that if it were a constant barrage of insanity I might be able to deal with it, but the timing of these events are just irregular enough to keep me on constant edge, fraying my nerves over and over and over. I've decided I'm going to resume meditations and cleansings - practices I dropped long ago as no longer necessary - in the manner of Konstantinos (though my own take on them). They helped once before when I felt haunted by some shadow of my own or another's invention, haunted then not by endless hallways blanketed in eternal darkness, but by irrational paranoia. I fucking hope this works again. I need sleep, and not the sleep I manage to steal now and again currently, filled with dreams of dark basements and room after room after room, gray and silent with no escape, but calm and restful sleep. I think maybe I am portraying myself as something of a basket case here, but I assure you anyone in my present state would be given to some amount of rambling. I mean it about the meditations and cleansings though. If they don't work, I don't know what else to do after. And just so we're clear, this isn't some DIY mental health edition mumbo jumbo (although I imagine more than a few of you will call it mumbo jumbo regardless). I guess for a lack of better words, I'd name it dabbling in the occult. Don't worry now, I'm not sacrificing children or animals or anything else. It's far more than that. It's opening the mind in connection with the spirit - something which can have incredible results depending on what you're wanting to do. However, relying on spirituality has been a last resort it seems, in my life, and I've been content with that and satisfied with that. But I've noticed that problems tend to crop up more and more and in greater magnitudes when I drop the shield of faith. And don't misconstrue that word, faith, now. I mean only a belief in my ability to change and affect the world around me through applied thought and feeling. Perhaps it could be compared to art without form, but still holding all the impact of emotion and intent.

For those who are unaware of Konstatinos, look here: http://konstantinos.com/aboutkonstantinos.htm
Even if you don't agree with it all, I feel that, like any philosopher, he raises ideas and questions that anyone can benefit from considering.

Meanwhile back at the point (is there a point?)... Kal seems to have taken the news (or rather recent lack of it) about the girl rather hard. I think perhaps we are influencing each other in our own neuroses, encouraging an arms race in insanity. Fucking hell I'm tired. I'm going to lie down now. I hope I can keep my eyes closed long enough to miss the sunrise.

-Michenab

Previous/Next

The day is saved! (I think)

I just got a call from Kal - I think everything is alright but I still don't have all the details. Anyway, I need to go pick him up from the station. I think I'll bring him some food to eat, something he likes.

What a day. Started off normal and then.. phhhhbbbbttt.

-Michenab

Previous/Next

The hell...

Some cops came around the apartment today. I noticed them when I got home from a trip to the store (and what a short trip that was, it's cold) and was wondering why they were kinda lurking in the hall by the front door but I didn't make the connection then.  I guess they were waiting for someone to show up because not too long after they knocked on the door (standard police knock - BANG BANG BANG) asking after Kal. I told them I didn't know then shut the door in their faces (I don't like cops much), locked it and immediately called Kal to let him know. I couldn't tell him why they wanted him (I didn't know myself) but I warned him off before the call dropped.

The dumb bastard showed up anyway. I didn't get any information after that, they just BANG-BANG-BANG'd on the door again after Kal opened the door - he didn't even get the time to drop his stuff and the cops were in hauling him off. Fuck. I'm flipping through the yellow pages for lawyers now and have been for most of the half hour or so Kal's been gone. I don't even know what the hell.

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I had planned to be a bit more busy as far as posting here, especially in the very beginning (strong start and whatnot), but my life became suddenly busy this weekend (apart from school). A couple friends of mine who opted not to go to college this semester came and visited and I've been spending the days with them (sorry for the neglect Kal) and then coming home late and doing homework until I felt like I might simply pass out. But they're gone now and the weekend is over anyhow. But it was a fun-filled two days of movie theatres (and yes I will always spell the word like that) and restaurants and just walking around the area seeing what we can find to do.

Anyhow, seeing as my life is likely not going to be so packed with activity in the near future (except maybe during the Christmas-y time and stuff), I should be able to get some more writing done and posted up in my free time.

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Ugh.

It's been a rough week. I've barely slept. And, I know it isn't his fault, but Kal's coughing all night long doesn't help. Maybe if I get sick though I can pass out or something. The good news is, the lack of sleep has given me tons of time to work on school and to write whatever I want. So I suppose I'll share some of that with you now. The recreational writing, that is.

Soft whispers into an eager ear, hoping for more than sweet nothings, bring a moment of overwhelming joy as a promise is confirmed that was once merely unspoken and uncertain. Nipping lips send ripples ecstasy down a trembling body. Sensing impending fulfillment, that body turns, expecting the embrace of a lover, but falls into the arms of ashes. The body of Love sits wasted in the ruins of what never was and frail hands cover the face of Fantasy, hoping to stop the sting of tears that are, ultimately, inevitable and inexorable. The ash turns to sooty mud as the tears stream ever more and more down the face of Mourning, washing away the memories of lies as the morning light falls into the empty twilight of broken promises. It was all sweet nothings after all.
The ash swept away, leaving only stained and hard and cold granite beneath, the body of Hope rises with the moon and looks beneath the stars. There is no longer room in the mind of Reality to consider the sky. Eyes follow the ground, a trail to mundanity. Disgusted, but broken, feet begin to walk.

Cheery, no? Inspired by a weird commercial that I can't even remember the details of anymore. All I know is there was a hill in the background. I know it wasn't very long, but when something ends, it ends, y'know? There's more I could share, but Kal is sleeping and I feel very much like a nap is coming on right now. I have to take advantage of these when I can.


-Michenab

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He Would

That's pretty much Kal for you. Wandering into places he doesn't belong, showing people up. I suppose I could kick him out (I could kick him out of this apartment too because I pretty much pay the rent and maybe he should remember that), but this little piece of Internet property could probably use a little devil worship every now and again. Yeah, you're never living that down Kal, even if it was only just the one concert. Especially when you want to student teach. Good god that's way too funny. I can see it now: Kal earning the trust of scores of small children and then turning them into miniature legions of hell. His empire will start with a school and end with the world! And, being the best friend (or something), I'll get first dibs on all the action so my journalism career will really take off. Perhaps that's not such a bad idea.


But in all seriousness, Kal's not a bad guy. Sure, he may need  to have labels on the food in the fridge to know what's his and what isn't, but hey. At least he isn't plotting to kill me in my sleep. I've known people like that. My youngest sister, for instance. A nice girl overall, but don't dare piss her off and try to sleep in the same house. I woke up with water being poured on my face in the middle of the night once.


Right. Anyhow, I wrote this last night while I was failing at sleeping:

                The wind snaked its way around and through the trees, bringing with it the smell of air kissed by the plains and dosed with the barest touch of pale sunlight. The badger rose to greet the wind and drink in the fragrance that signaled the changing seasons. Birds and squirrels and cats all mimicked him. The time to stockpile and share had come. The trees were alive with hurried activity, though to the unpracticed eye the woods looked and sounded much as they ever did. But should more attention be paid, soon rabbits would be seen fleshing out and widening burrows, chipmunks hiding food and the trees swaying in graceful preparation to doff their leaves. But the single Hound stood still, a sad look on his old face. He knew what that wind really meant. He had tasted the hidden scent upon it.

                Somewhere, beyond the peaceful trees and across the plains, the Hunters were getting ready, and Loggers and the Trappers. The smell of Man was unmistakable. And Man getting set to march released a scent so acrid – but too subtle from so far for those who do not know it to catch it. Tongue lolling slightly in the fading remnants of summer’s heat, the Hound looked all around him, that he might remember these woods as they were now. For he knew what they would become. Rows of stumps, surrounded by short grass. Black patches of char. Rotting bodies and great fire pits. And eventually, freshly tilled rows of the softest dirt, with pretty little houses to keep the Men away from nature. The Hound had seen this all before, over and over. Man was inexorable. Is inexorable, he corrected himself. The Hound took his last glances of those trees and those animals that called these woods home. And then he left, silently, without even a grunt of warning. Let them have their last days of peace, he thought. No amount of preparation could stop the inevitable at this point. The Hound mourned for weeks.

                And he found another home. He settled in. He let himself forget, and he made friends. He established a routine. And one day, as those around him readied themselves for autumn, a foul taste came to him on the wind. Faint, but meaning only death. Only loss. The Hound’s grief returned to him as he drank in his last glances of this place, still so new to him for all that he’d spent the better part of a year there. He left, wondering if he was ever missed at the end. Then he thought that if he was, he was surely only counted one among many who had perished or been forced to flee. Just another casualty. And, he thought, perhaps he was that.

                He wandered long before he found another place to rest. Another place to name home. He realized that each new haven was slowly decreasing in size. Becoming less trusting, less inviting. More wild, more vicious. He wondered what there was that man could not ruin. The Hound shook off the thought and adapted himself to this new place, just as he had with all those before. He made himself fit in. And he let himself forget again, for a time, the endless march of Man. But the smell, that haunting and taunting smell, came once more. Did they never rest? Did they always move, at every summer’s end? But the smell did not spark recognition immediately in the Hound. At first he could only wonder at the oddness of its bitter quality in this remote wood. And memory came back in a rush as tears came to the Hound. He fought them back as a careless rodent let a rock fall from the dark canopy down to the ground. Man loomed, terrifying, in the Hound’s mind.

                Without even a parting glance the Hound fled, eager to put as much distance between himself and Man’s frontier. He was so tired of this never-ending chase, but he could do naught else but flee. What simple Hound could withstand the legions of Man, that faceless and formless beast? The Hound ran for years, stopping in the ever wilder havens that he could find, resting and relaxing. Fitting in, molding himself to the place around him. And each autumn, smelling the foul scent on the air that betrayed the march of man, the Hound would flee once more. But each time, the memories came back slower. The urgency of his flight grew less and less with each passing year. So it came to pass that one day the Hound did not remember at all.

                He wrestled with a fox, playfully and happily breathing in the fresh air, the sweet air, as others around him gathered food to hide away and strengthened homes against the coming weather. A wisp of smoke floated in the sky. The Hound did not see it. He did not smell it. Not until it was too late. The scent of flames burst upon the woods and the shouts of Men and the hard, sharp report of their axes thrust themselves onto and into the trees. The animals, confused and panicked, did nothing. They merely stood and listened, watching for anything, questing for some signal. And then the first Man appeared before them, tall and grand and new. The Hound felt none of his old fear, his well-earned terror of this figure. He only possessed the instinctual fear of noise and flame, of the presence of a potential hunter. More Men appeared. Gunshots rang out. The exodus and slaughter began in earnest. Deer and bears fell in vast numbers. However valiantly they fought, the bullets of Man were no trifling pain. The Hound knew not what to do until one of the Men approached him. Seeing the destruction all around, he bared his teeth at the Man. He snarled and growled and did his best to look scary. But the Man was unconcerned. He hefted his axe with both hands and brought it up, high above his head. As the Hound leaped in attack, the axe fell and caught the Hound across the top of his head, driving him into the dirt.

                Blood spilled from the Hound as the Man moved on, bringing his axe to bear on any other threat. The Hound died slowly, in agony, as he remembered all that he had forgotten in the years past. The cruelty of man. The baseness of their march. With a bitter mental laugh, for he had not the strength to truly manifest it, the Hound cursed his own complacency, his own willingness to leave his past behind. His desire to forget. He died, broken in all ways and finally defeated, able to flee no longer. He was not remembered, as Man was. He was left to become dust. He was nothing.

I know, I know. It's a bit of an anvil. It could definitely use some work, but that's what you get from insomniac writing.

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