Baby It's cold outside.

Oooooh boy is it cold. 3° on Monday, -6° yesterday, and 1° today. That is frikkin cold let me tell you, -6° is goddamn motherfucking cold. Need I repeat that I get to walk in that for half of my hour and half journey to work every morning? Not fun. Work is going fine btw, I've gone and got myself a handle on all the kids names save like 3, which is really impressive given my lack of affinity for names, I've started actually teaching a few lessons on top of my duties as a lunch monitor/recess watcher/glorified gofer. Yesterday I got to do a demonstration of potential and kinetic energy which was pretty cool. Oh, and I get to grade book reports this weekend. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. 

 Oh also, I finally got a chance to go skiing with my dad this weekend, luckily before it got really really really freaking cold, in fact it was pretty warm, we spent the day skiing blacks and a couple blues, I finally got a handle on moguls (even if they do destroy my legs), and then I went home and made chili. All and all it was an excellent day. 

 ~Kal

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Moan

Uggggggggggggggggg, the sun isn't even up and it's an hour later here, how am I going to manage doing this every day for like 3 months? What was I thinking? Something tells me this is not going to be my most funnest semester of school evers.

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Damn.

School is going to be starting back up again soon. Which is a real shame because I've really enjoyed this time spent mostly in a daze of too little sleep. I remember most of it, and it's been fun. Doing pretty much what I want and when I want. Being to able to walk around at night because I don't have obligations in the morning. I am kinda disappointed in the fact that I couldn't quite beat the insomnia and sleep from midnight to noon every day, but I got enough sleep for me. I think. Either way I'm not dead, so that's a plus. You always have to look at the bright side. The little things. Where was I going with this...

Right. School. This is really just me complaining, so whine whine whine piss moan bitch whine whine. There, I think I'm done for now. I'm going to miss this freedom though. Although, now that I'll be doing things now, I'll probably be wasting less money. Maybe there's something to this school business after all.

-Michenab

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Motherfucker!

I am sick again, what the hell?
I came home and I saw my family sick, but somewhere from my silly little head came a voice saying "It'll be fine Kal, you just recovered from this, you have immunities Kal, IMMUNITIES!" Little did I know I didn't have said immunities. So now happy chipper lovable Kal goes to hide in  closet while miserable pessimist Kal comes out to play. Damn it.

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I found something!

It really isn't all that exciting; just an old poem that I wrote when I was younger and more 'angsty' and knew everything. However, I like how it was constructed so I'm going to let you all see it.
It has no official title.

My health is degenerating at a fairly rapid rate;
Could an early death at age 16 truly be my fate?
I hope it ain't but if it is I'd like to take the time
To say a couple things to you before I go in a simple rhyme.
I've loved and lost and must admit I'd've rather never loved at all
Because the pain that came from losing made my heart a car that won't not stall.
And longing for the touch of one who turned out to be a whore
Makes me sick enough to want to shut on love every goddamn door.
I try to keep them open but the bitterness that was spawned
Calls to me to burn the world, turn the human sea into a pond.
And I've realized something about myself: there's a crack way deep inside.
It seems I should refer to "we" instead of saying "I".
Because a new perspective has awakened and it lives next to the old
And it snarls as it watches and when it speaks this I am told:
"Look out at all these weakling sheep dressed up in the furs of wolves.
They think their costumes put them on the top but next to us they're only fools."
At first I was put off by this new misanthropic voice
But more and more I find these thoughts enter by my own choice.
Then at night arrives the questions, is this evolution or am I insane?
I hope for the former but I feel the latter when I look into our brain.
Though I outward may seem stable, inward I am torn
For when the original almost died, a new recipe was then born.
But when the veteran felt recovery the rookie hid but did not leave


So now within a single shell there are two different kinds
And for listening in I bid you thanks from a truly darkled mind.


I didn't leave a date on it, so I don't know when exactly it was written except for some amount of years ago. I admit it isn't very subtle but it got the job done for what I was going for at the time - looking for a way to call myself crazy without actually saying so. I've learned since then that I am not, in fact, crazy - though many may try to persuade you otherwise - but that rebound is total bitch.


Oh, right, I know it's late but: happy new year, merry Kwanza, have a jolly Christmas or whatever it is you did over the holiday season. Wait, I got it!


(belated) Happy/Merry ______!


-Michenab

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I've Come to Hate Sleeping

It's true. Not only am I now generally incapable of sleeping, I've begun to dread it. It started with dreams. Or perhaps, I'm simply remembering experiencing more dreams than I am used to. It isn't so much the content of the dreams, but the sheer amount of them. For a few delirious seconds after waking, all I can think of is the overload of fantastical stories that have been playing out in my head through the night. Speaking of waking. That may be the worst part of going to sleep. I know that, no matter how tired I am, I will wake up at most seven hours after laying down. I thought maybe it was the sun. So I covered the window. No change. And I wake up just as tired as I was when I went to sleep. But I think the worst part of waking up in the mornings is tied in with the dreams.


I'll have woken up in the middle of a dream, almost without fail. And then I try to get up. But it's like my dream refuses to let go of me and I'll either a) fall back into the dream, paralyzing while I am still conscious and slipping into the dream state while conscious that I am dreaming (though lacking the control conferred in lucid dreams) or b) manage to get out of my bed but still be held in the grasp of my dreams for up to five minutes or so. And if you haven't experienced such a feeling, let me tell you that having your brain trying to dream while you are trying to walk is extremely disorienting. This is nearly every morning for the last couple weeks.


More recently than that, merely laying in my bed gives me headaches. I don't know if it's the association I've begun to build with sleep, but I can't stand it. If I try to sleep longer in the mornings when I wake up unreasonably early, the headaches come. I tried to take a nap the other day - headache.


This is terrible. But I guess that's my bitch fit for the night.


-Michenab

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Update of my Own

I have a thing I wrote down. I still need to edit it but I have neither time nor energy for it at the moment so for now I'm just telling you all (if anyone even reads this) that I recorded a dream of mine and embellished it for the sake of the story.

Kal, how many times must I tell you not to call me Hank... Bah, I'm used to it at this point. The complaining is mostly out of habit now I think. I also think I smell something wonderful coming from the kitchen. My nose and stomach are begging to me investigate so hopefully it's something delicious.

Rambling.. Right, new post from me soon with a dream I wrote down.

-Michenab

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Grr (Subject to mild exaggeration)

I thought I was getting better, I'd barely coughed all day, suddenly it's 5 AM and I'm coughing card hard enough to jettison my precious Halls drops clear out my mouth and across the room.
Jesus Christ when will this fucking end?
~Kal

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