Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Poem and a Dream

I wrote this between classes today:

A calm ripple of voice settles out among a rambunctious crowd.
Youth and elders alike clamor for the attention of someone - or anyone.
As the words nest in the ears of chaos, some semblance of order emerges.
This man is the living God, they say saviour in full, come to take his Holy Chosen!
But he is just a man who knows their hearts and still loves them, somehow.
And perhaps in the end, that is all that they wanted.
Someone, anyone, to look at their dark tragedies -
And embrace them all the more for it.

Pity and mercy they can do without.
But for love...

For pure and accepting Love,
They'd walk Ivan Fyodorovich's quadrillion quadrillions, and without hesitation.

For acceptance, they would take on the suffering of all the world.

If you aren't a fan of Dostoevsky, you might not have caught the reference about the quadrillion quadrillions. Ivan (a character in The Brothers Karamazov) had a theory about a man who walked a quadrillion quadrillion miles to receive the absolution of God and Heaven after he died.

Anyhow. I had an odd dream early this morning. I was a student at Texas A&M University (which is odd because I've never been to Texas, much less that school, but that's what the walls said so whatever) except the halls and everything else looked exactly like my old high school. So perhaps it was just my high school pretending to be a college. Either way, I kept being denied for all the classes I wanted to take. Each professor had a subject-related tryout for the class and only the few best were accepted into the class. In my dream (and mostly in real life as well) I was fully able to pass each test with flying colors and be accepted. However, things kept coming up and getting in the way. For example, for a creative writing class we had to come up with a story. Which I can do pretty regularly and I told myself this in the dream. But before the dissonance of not being able to come up with a story pretty quickly could wake me up, my mom came up to me and made me leave to get something at the store with her. Which is odd because I haven't seen her in a few weeks. So, because I left and was unable to finish the test, I wasn't accepted to the class. It was all very weird. Also, the professor was dressed like a cafeteria worker and actually based his class out of it too.

So that's what I woke with this morning.



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