You'll be wanting an explanation for the other night's outbursts I'll expect.

I've surely made it clear by now that I haven't been getting too much sleep. Yeah. The nightmares have made sure of that. Last Wednesday though I took a nice trip into the woods behind Forest Ridge Elementary School. It was soothing, nostalgic even. Colorado forests, while different from those I'm used to, have the same feeling as those back home. I spent a lot of time in the woods as a kid, grew up on top of one and it always served as a nice escape from life's ridiculous drama, a home away from the shit of home. Wednesday I took a nice long stroll in the woods and mellowed out. Wednesday night I slept well for the first time in weeks.

Good things never last though. The damn nightmares came back quickly. I started was spending my nights watching that poor girl dragged into darkness again, screaming and clawing towards me for help. And I'd just stand there and watch. It's like that in every dream, I just stand and watch her suffer unable to turn, unable to help. I can't sleep like that, I wake up in sweat soaked sheets to find that I've only been out for all of five minutes.

Monday during recess one of the student's asked me where Sara's been . I decided it was time for another walk in the woods. I hoped another stroll would calm me and hopefully let me nap peacefully again.

No fucking dice.

I pushed off into the forest after school, crossed the small frozen creek and trudged uphill and into ankle deep snow. I queued up some Ordo Rosarius Equilibrio on my iPod and started my excursion following my footsteps from the week before. I traveled deeper into the trees than I'd intended, far deeper than I had gone last week. I hiked up rocky hills and carefully crossed icy streams by way of snow covered logs. I lost myself in the music, pressed forward in a half-conscious state of exploration while following animal tracks and traversing thick briers. It was a good trip, I haven't had a walk like it for a few years.

My music stopped suddenly though, a crackle of my headphones and a frozen screen. I cursed irritated with my shitty device and turned back towards the school, it was getting dark anyhow and I should really head back. There in my path though stood a man turned from me. His black suit split my sight pure in contrast to the snow around him, his body bent and shining against the frosted ground. I called out to him surprised by his proximity and concerned by his hunched stature.

He turned... no turned isn't right, twisted towards me, torso swiveling and leaving legs firmly planted in the silver snow. He... it stretched upwards from its previous pose, enormous , beyond human, it soared feet above me and smiled. How it smiled I don't know. It didn't have a face: no eyes or mouth, no nose or ears, this thing's head was purely blank. No contours or features and yet it smiled.

I tried to turn and run but something in its horrifying visage held me paralyzed. I moved away, scampering backwards all the while unable to take my eyes from its cold featureless flesh. In my frantic attempt away from the faceless monster my foot caught on a stray root and set me tumbling to the ground and disconnecting my gaze from that of the vile thing before me. I hurried back to my feet, turning immediately to avoid looking upon it for fear that I'd find myself petrified again. I ran back through the woods, back over frozen creeks and through twisted branches. I ran straight to the bus stop and chased down the bus that was leaving already. I ran so far away from that thing firmly planted in the woods with snow crusted around it's legs. There's no way it should have been able to follow.

But it did, I caught glimpses of it all the way back. It just appeared on the route on the edge of light. I saw it idly stand beneath lonely trees and in dimly lit lots. It followed me all the way home, made sure I saw it, made sure I could feel its nonexistent eyes. And you know, I hope I was right last night, I really hope that I'm going mad. I hope this thing doesn't exist, that it's a hallucination. Because if it's not... well it's still outside.

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