Sunday, March 20, 2011

Checking in.

Hey. It’s been a while. Umm week, week and a half maybe. I uh just wanted to stop in on the blog and apologize for not keeping our couple of followers in the loop with what all is going on. Umm, I’ve been busy, been reading blogs and catching videos but I’ve mainly refocused my attention on my work for the school.

My advisor-type person called me up a week back and basically let me know that the school was trying to get rid of me. Said they were concerned with my productivity and my increasingly odd behavior (things like bringing in my personal board games to try to keep kids off the playground, uh my jumpiness and generally antisocial behavior). I calmly explained to him that between the whole thing with the missing girl and some ridiculous fictional family issues that I was having trouble concentrating and well just really not sleeping, that it was a wonder I could even get up in the mornings. I told him that I was aware of these issues though and had taken steps to correct it all. Said that I’d gone to see a doctor and gotten myself proscribed some sleeping and anti-anxiety medications and that I should according to my doctor be operating at a manageable level again in the coming weeks. Then I went in and told the same thing to the school administrators who in all likelihood were trying to boot my crazy ass out of their establishment and let them know that I’d be making up all the work I’d slacked off on during my uh… episodes. 

Now all of this is lies, well I mean what I told them was lies, but I did get my parents to send up a couple mostly full bottles of Focilin from back in Middle and High School when they had me on and off ADD medications all the time. I’ve started taking them daily despite my severe dislike of medications, they’ve um… enabled me to sit down and focus on things that are far less important than this impending danger, to obsess over trivial things really and its done wonders for my paranoia. I mean I still know it’s out there, the Slenderman thing, and it still frightens me but these feelings really only start to come up when I’m not occupied with something. Luckily I’ve got so much fucking work to catch up on from all those weeks where my mind was out in the woods rather than in the classroom that I should be able to stay busy for some time. 

As for the actual, you know… I’ve decided that I’m pretty blessed. This thing seems content just watching me for now, and from what I’ve read, well I’m pretty lucky if that’s all its doing. If it wants to sit outside and follow me around as I go from the apartment to school, back to the apartment, and occasionally to the store to pick up something edible since Henry’s started stocking the place with all this weird vegan shit now… well that’s perfectly fine. Let it. I’ll know when it’s there; I’ve got music playing all the time now. I’ve had to remove a few bands I like from my playlists, Ordo Rosarius, Sopor Aeternus , Emile Autumn, but it’s a price worth paying to avoid false feedback. It comes and goes but it never seems to act, and for that I’m really blessed. 

~Kal 

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2 comments:

  1. Hey, just because I'm trying to eat healthier doesn't mean I'm going vegan. Ronnie may be into that, but I still like my moocows. Besides, that Silk soy stuff isn't vegan anyhow - and it certainly isn't inedible. But if you really have a problem with it, I'll try to keep you in mind when I go shopping.

    It's good to have you back.

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  2. Bullshit.

    That Silk crap tastes awful... milk is a wonderful thing and shouldn't be tarnished like that.

    Anyhow I never went anywhere... but yeah. It's nice to be back. Even if I do have to relay on some fucking drugs to do so.

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